


Crash My Party

by lesbionics



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Birthday, F/F, Party, Some Swearing, Swan Queen - Freeform, coming out reactions, daddy's girl adorableness, in the closet, lgbt obliviousness, lots and lots of other chars are there and will be mentioned at least, prompt, slight homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-29 01:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3877321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbionics/pseuds/lesbionics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma thought she'd had sucky birthdays before, but this one took the cake: her girlfriend was too scared of people finding out about them to crash the party, her mother was an oblivious and/or homophobic lunatic and the waitress at Granny's was still Not-Ruby. All she wanted was for the night to be over already cause there was nothing that could turn this clusterfuck of a party around and cheer her up again.</p><p>{spoilers in the prompt}<br/>Prompted by <a href="http://thequeenandherswan.tumblr.com/">thequeenandherswan</a> on tumblr: <i>the diner is full of people for Emma's birthday party. The whole town is there, except for Regina. She storms into the diner and kisses Emma. No one knows they're dating... until now.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Crash My Party

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: same deal as always, not mine, entertainment purposes...
> 
> If you think I should add anything to the tags, let me know and I will. {goes for all my stories of course}
> 
> This little fucker wanted to be more than just a drabble and was getting so long I decided to split it into chapters. So here’s chapter one and I’m thinking one or two more. The next one will be a ‘meanwhile Regina…’ type deal. Also, I completely and utterly blame Snow for everything. Now enjoy!

With a sigh Emma was stirring the swizzle stick around her drink absentmindedly. Granny’s diner was buzzing with excitement and people around her were laughing and dancing and drinking and having a blast. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate the surprise birthday party Snow was throwing for her, she really did. Almost the whole town was here to celebrate her. Almost. That was the problem with keeping your relationship secret: your mother might not invite your girlfriend to your party on account of them being mortal enemies even though you thought things had started to get better and they were starting to become friends but apparently your mother still carried a grudge against her. Even with Regina being Henry’s other mother, Snow obviously hadn’t even considered adding her to the guest list.

The party hadn’t exactly been a surprise, with the town running on gossip and Emma’s superpower of detecting lies she’d been suspecting something was up for a while and earlier that day it all had clicked into place and she’d figured out what Snow was planning. During a secret lunch date with Regina she had asked her if they could at least dance together at her party. Regina was the one being determined to keep them a secret and had plenty of reasons for it: They hadn’t been dating long yet and what if it didn’t work out? They had Henry to consider after all. Plus all the gossip and what if people would start hating her again for corrupting and gaying up the savior? Emma understood the Henry argument but couldn’t care less about all the other crap. But she respected that Regina wasn’t ready yet and usually she didn’t pressure her at all. But it was her birthday and they could just dance as friends… maybe even a tiny little bit more intimately than friends… So she’d tried her luck.

At that point Regina had told her that she’d love to dance with her, as long as it wasn’t to a romantic song, for appearances sake. Unfortunately she hadn’t even been invited though. However, she’d promised to make it up to her after the party and how about a horizontal tango for her birthday dance? Of course Emma had tried to convince her to come anyway, it was her party after all, and her wanting to have Regina there had to count for more than an invitation from Snow, didn’t it? Regina had been adamant though. If they didn’t want to raise suspicions, she’d better stay home. Again promises of making it up to her and naked celebrating had followed and eventually Emma had to relent.

So now here she was, moping into her drink instead of having fun at her own fucking birthday party. Twice already she had tried to leave, faking a headache and a stomach bug. But both times she’d gotten pills from Snow who apparently was prepared for everything. And if Emma tried to fake anything more serious, they’d undoubtedly drag her to the hospital and then she wouldn’t be able to sneak off to see Regina either. With another sigh she lifted her glass and kicked back what was left in it and then motioned Not-Ruby to fill her up again. Who the hell was that new waitress anyway? She’d never even bothered to ask her name, always referred to her as Not-Ruby. And now she was thinking about somebody else she wished was here tonight.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Snow noticed Emma sitting at the counter by herself, looking miserable and immediately went over to her. “With your head and stomach bothering you, you shouldn’t drink this much alcohol. Order a tea instead. Do you have a fever?” She reached out to feel her daughter’s forehead to check her temperature.

Rolling her eyes, Emma pushed the hand away. “I’m all better, your pills helped.” She muttered and turned to stare at her in annoyance. “Are you sure you invited everybody who should be here tonight?” Hopefully the subtle hint would make her realize her mistake and give Regina a call.

At that moment Not-Ruby put the new drink down in front of Emma and Snow caught the glare Emma shot the waitress and sighed. “Oh Emma, I’m sorry… I did invite Ruby. I know you miss your friend, but you have to understand that what she’s doing is important. I thought you had encouraged her to go back to the Enchanted Forest to find others like her and teach them how to control their inner wolves. But even so, I sent Ariel over there with invitations and she left the one for Ruby at a tavern close to where she’d last been seen. You know how hard it is to track down people over there. I’m sure she’d be here if she had gotten it. Ariel really was a big help with the travel arrangements. Did you say hi to Mulan and Aurora yet? They must be incredibly scared of this world. Have you noticed them holding on to each other all night? I tried to explain that they have nothing to fear here, but Aurora just won’t let go of Mulan’s hand. Poor thing. Oh and Tiny sent his regards, he really wanted to come but it’s harvest season for the beans. And Anna and Elsa sent back best wishes too, along with an invitation to Anna’s wedding that also happens to be today. But don’t worry, I knew you’d rather be here at our party, so I sent back a gift in all our names. And Tink’s New Neverland project…” At that point she was abruptly and rudely cut off by an outburst from her daughter. She really didn’t understand what was going on with her today. Maybe it was that time of the month?

“Oh my god, SHUT UP!” Angrily Emma slammed down her glass as she yelled at Snow. She couldn’t take this anymore and had to resist a strong urge to strangle her right now. “Are you seriously telling me you managed to send invitations to and bring people over from god knows how many realms, yet it never even crossed your mind to invite Regina?!” Not wanting to cause a scene, for Regina’s sake with all the worries about people discovering their secret, she lowered her voice again and settled on hissing at her currently insufferable mother who apparently was either completely oblivious or a raging homophobe to not have noticed that Mulan and Aurora weren’t even sort of afraid but a loving couple displaying their affections publicly. Great, just what she needed, another reason for Regina to keep them and their relationship in the closet.

Suddenly it all made sense. Snow felt stupid for not having realized sooner what her poor Emma was worried about. She’d long suspected something like this and even had discussed it with David several times. Following Emma’s lead, she lowered her voice to a whisper. “No, of course not. I wouldn’t do that to you. This is your special day and I promise Regina won’t show up, so you can stop worrying and enjoy your party now.” Seeing the perplexed look on her daughters face now made her sigh and realize Emma didn’t understand that she was telling her that she was on to her and that she was okay with it and down with the plan. So she glanced around to make sure no one was eavesdropping and leaned in closer to make sure no one would overhear as she continued to whisper. “What I’m saying is, I know what you’ve been up to with Regina and I completely support it.”

Stunned about that statement, Emma gasped as her heart skipped a beat. “You do?” After what she’d just said about Mulan and Aurora, Emma hadn’t expected this at all. Was this the reason she hadn’t invited Regina? Cause she had figured out they were keeping it a secret and was trying to help Regina with the whole ‘not raising suspicions’ thing? But dammit, she could’ve told her! Maybe instead of this ridiculousness the two of them together could have convinced Regina to come anyway. In any case, this was a huge load off and she happily smiled at Snow.

“Of course I do Emma. I’m your mother, I notice when you’re up to something. And I know you. It really wasn’t that hard to figure out, you know. Your father doesn’t quite believe me yet, but you know how dense he can be sometimes.” With a little roll of her eyes she scanned the room for David and subtly motioned him to come over before she wrapped her arms around Emma to give her a long hug.

Smiling at the sight of his wife and daughter, David kissed the top of Emma’s head as he sat down on the other side of her. “Glad to see you’re feeling better.”

Emma opened her mouth to respond, but Snow was faster. “She’s just been worried about the whole Regina situation. Of course she’s feeling better now that she knows we’re all on the same page about the issue.”

With a frustrated sigh David rolled his eyes. “Don’t start with that again, Mary Margaret. Not tonight. Let’s just all enjoy the party and not bother Emma with your latest insane theory.”

Trying to stifle a little chuckle Emma looked back and forth between her parents. Snow wasn’t kidding when she’d said David wasn’t convinced yet. But he seemed more worried about Snow annoying her with it than about the theory itself. So that was a good sign. Again she opened her mouth to join the conversation, and again Snow was already half-way through a sentence before she could even utter a syllable.

Crossing her arms in annoyance Snow glared at her husband. “It’s not an insane theory! When I realized it was bothering her that Regina might show up, I told her that we had figured out everything and that she doesn’t have to be worried cause we’re on her side and of course we’re gonna help with her plan. It’s all true, just ask Emma. She’s just faking that ridiculous friendship because that way she can keep a closer eye on the Evil Queen.”

Emma nodded to show David that Snow really was spot-on with what she’d figured out. “Yeah it’s true, I’m… Regina… we… wait what now?“ Quickly she spun around to look at her mother completely confused again. The last part of what she’d said had settled in and it finally dawned on her that whatever Snow’s theory was might not be what really was going on between her and Regina.

With a reprimanding head-shake Snow looked back at Emma. “Didn’t I tell you that you should’ve ordered a tea instead?” She asked motioning at the drink in front of her daughter, blaming her sudden state of confusion on the alcohol. That girl was lucky she had such a smart mother who had everything worked out and could fill David in on the plan now. “Okay, so it’s like this: Just like me, Emma’s been having her doubts about Regina’s sudden ‘reformation’. So she’s been trying to befriend her to investigate and figure out the Evil Queen’s latest nefarious plan to destroy us. Obviously Regina was skeptical at first but eventually believed Emma and I can’t confirm this, but I’m sure a part of her is just trying the same. Like that quote with keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. So that’s why they’ve been spending more and more time with each other and while Regina and the rest of the town are convinced that they’re beloved besties, Emma has the Evil Queen lulled into a false sense of security and once we’ve found a way to strip her of her magic for good, Emma will lock her up somewhere for the rest of her life and she won’t ever be able to hurt anyone again. Brilliant, isn’t it? We have such a clever girl!” Proudly Snow smiled at her little Savior who just stared back at her in shock, her mouth hanging open. Apparently she had underestimated her mother’s own deductive reasoning skills and was now baffled at just how spot-on her theory was.

During that whole explanation Emma couldn’t believe her ears. She shot David a quick ‘she can’t be serious!’ look but his nod and ‘told ya’ look confirmed that Snow indeed was convinced that she was faking her friendship with Regina and in reality wanted to destroy her. Vehemently she shook her head as she glared at Snow. “No! No, no, no, no, no! Not even sort of! What the hell is wrong with you?! Regina isn’t evil at all anymore, and you would’ve realized that if you had given her an honest chance. I’m not faking anything. Regina is the best friend I ever had and I miss her.”

“Right. Gotcha. That’s the story.” Snow nodded understandingly and gave David a stern look. “You hear that? Not a word to anyone! We can’t risk Regina finding out now that the plan is in motion.”

When Snow still wouldn’t give up, Emma turned to David again. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but: Daddy, help! Please?” Right now she just wanted what turned out to be her worst birthday party ever to be over already. Her mood was bad enough without having to deal with her mother’s delusions.

With a little chuckle David wrapped his arm around Emma's shoulders and leaned in to kiss her forehead. “Don’t worry, I’ll always have your back, no matter what.” He whispered and then looked over at his wife. “Maybe it’d really be better for you and me to discuss this whole notion tomorrow. Hey, did you tell Emma that Anna’s getting married today? I still think we should’ve at least asked her if she wanted to go. Oh and what did you hear from Tinkerbell? You wanted to tell me but didn’t get around to it yet.” He knew distracting Snow with other topics was the best solution right now. And tomorrow he was going to have another long conversation with her about all the good things Regina had done to help them and that they could be lucky Emma had such a good friend in the mayor.


End file.
